That sense of belonging

Little Rayaansh just got vaccinated and the doctor had given me a heads up on the discomfort that was to follow. I was ready with meds and things to do in order to comfort him. And from my earlier experiences I felt more confident to help my little boy through these next day. The following day we had monthly thanksgiving ceremony, so I offered a prayer and took off. He did well most of the ceremony but at the end the pain seemed to have kicked in and he yelled his guts out but within minutes of giving the meds, I had him calm and smiling in my arms.

But something happened that night which will stay with me for a long long time to come. I was getting ready for bed and was in the shower while Mihir was playing with him. All seemed to be going well as I was hearing happy giggles. After few minutes Rayaansh started his fake cry ( yes I had categorized his cries as well). I didn't bother much as I knew his daddy knew what to do. He'll sleep off in sometime or so I thought. Well, that's when I heard his scream. It came once and before I could register it another one and another with a louder decibel came in. I dashed out and found Mihir perspiring not able to figure out why this little thing suddenly transitioned from giggles to yelling. I calmly pulled out his meds , quickly gave his the drops and immediately took him in my arms.

Within seconds the yelling changed to sobs and with little caressing he was calm.I just held him that way for a few mins while Mihir breathed a sigh of relief. I tried to give him back to Mihir so I could set things for the night and that's when it happened. He tightened his grip against me and refused to given away!! This was the first time my little boy showed me a gesture of recognizing my touch and my ability to comfort him. Yes I have had my share of exclusive smiles and giggles. But that night Rayaansh in his sweet way established that sense of belonging. All the efforts spent on his care just seemed to be worth it and a sense of fulfillment crept in. I just held my baby tight against my heart, continued to cuddle him while I whispered I love you into his ears.

20 September 2014

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