Happy Hour ... and Me

One evening my 3 year Rayaansh was sitting on the sofa. Day dreaming and eating grapes while I was sipping tea by the dinner table. The door bell rang. Me “ Rayaansh, can you get the door please”. I knew it was the baby sitter, who had gone down to buy something. Rayaansh nods no. Me, this time little firm “ Rayaansh, cmon please open the door”. Rayaansh “No, you go”. Me, “ I am having tea and you are done eating your grapes. Please open it. Someone is waiting.” Rayaansh, “ Someone can wait. I will not open” I was transported back to decades when the exact same conversation took place between my brother and me. We decided then that the person at the door can wait as neither would budge.  It was dad who went all mental ringing the door bell and gave us both a good dressing down for it. P.S. – Both the time I relented and opened the door

Last evening I had  few meetings to attend around dinner time.  I usually try not to work that time of the day because it really confuses my kid. It's our play time you see. Nevertheless, it was one of those unavoidable days. I was deep into a conversation with  colleagues from across the globe on how best we could mitigate risks for particularly challenging services that we were getting into. We were almost concluding, when my 16 month old aimlessly strolls in.  He casually comes near my table and starts his high decibel protest cry for me to pick him up and in the bargain obviously disrupts the discussion. I apologize for the ruckus and quickly put my line on mute, lift him and hand him over to his care taker.  It annoys him because he was looking forward to hitting my laptop keypad and pulling out a few keys under the guise of hanging out with me. He is now howling!! The mother in me feels sad until the brain switches back to risk mitiga...

Little Rayaansh just got vaccinated and the doctor had given me a heads up on the discomfort that was to follow. I was ready with meds and things to do in order to comfort him. And from my earlier experiences I felt more confident to help my little boy through these next day. The following day we had monthly thanksgiving ceremony, so I offered a prayer and took off. He did well most of the ceremony but at the end the pain seemed to have kicked in and he yelled his guts out but within minutes of giving the meds, I had him calm and smiling in my arms. But something happened that night which will stay with me for a long long time to come. I was getting ready for bed and was in the shower while Mihir was playing with him. All seemed to be going well as I was hearing happy giggles. After few minutes Rayaansh started his fake cry  ( yes I had categorized his cries as well). I didn't bother much as I knew his daddy knew what to do. He'll sleep off in sometime or so I thought. ...

I can see you fidget in the cradle from the across hall when I am doing my best to swallow my break fast. (Swallow.. Yes .. eating chewing etc can wait till I can recall what relishing food means). I can hear you grumble and cry in your clear loud, no very loud voice. Just then I manage to shove the last morsel of upma in, and I dash across to start moving your cradle. You immediately stop grumbling and give me a faint smile. Within minutes you are asleep and this time I didn't even touch you. May be it's my voice and as some research articles say my smell.. Awww. Then a fear hits me. In about 2 months time, I'll resume back work. What then? I wish you get comforted and this transition is easy for you. I know you are a rock star and you'll do a super job. But will you forget me? Will my voice and touch still sooth you? Well if not now, but in a few years you'll be all grown up ,  pretty much  managing things yourself and may be even advising me. Even then...

6th July 2015 This Saturday morning Rayaansh my 1 year old was in the middle of his “waking up” process. We have a morning drill where usually he’ll wake up disoriented and while he tries to establish his co-ordinates,I’ll ask him if he stretched? His face will brighten into a faint smile and he’ll give a lazy stretch. Then based on how hungry he feels the crying routine will follow. I then ask him about his dreams while I kiss and caress him. Some days he begins to fill me on his dreams in a language I wish I could comprehend while the rest will be spent on inspecting the eco-system. It’s our happy mornings. So this morning, he is having an animated conversation with me when my FIL walks towards my room calling out my son’s name. My FIL had just returned that morning from a 2 week long business trip. Instantly I see Rayaansh stops his stories and his smile just vanishes. I was surprised, as I had expected him to be excited on seeing his grandfather. With an urgency, he ...